Despite having nearly three year’s experience in doing less and trying to reduce my activity level to make sure I don’t overdo things, I keep doing exactly that.
Over the last couple of months I have been faced with one insight after another that involved me doing too much; Sewing your first evening dress before a set date seemed like a good idea until I realised that finishing it meant that was my sole project for the next month. Just before this, I had made my aim of hiking a mountain my sole project for what seems more than a month.
This meant that any hopes of socialising as well as other minor projects such as blogging or calling friends on a good day went straight out the window as there are still limitations to what my overwhelmed head can cope with.
And then in September I started a kundalini yoga teacher training which probably is my current project. Not being able to read more than a couple of pages a day, depending on whether it is a good head day or not, I was a bit daunted with the project I had just started.
It suddenly dawned upon me that I had quite a tendency of overdoing things and being highly ambitious, and maybe overly ambitious too.
I was so overwhelmed after the first week-end of training, that I just had to not think about the training, breathe and meditate for a while.
Then, when I felt calmer, I looked at the criteria for passing the training, and thought if I took one day at a time and followed the below strategy, then everything should be manageable.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.” Mark Twain
However, most importantly I decided to trust life and trust that everything will be ok. I have also started letting go of activities that seems like a good idea to my rational mind, but which doesn’t feel right.
I decided to let go of everything and just exist and focus on yoga for a while, and trust that my social life will pick up again, and that everything will fall into place when they are supposed to.
Not trying to do or achieve anything, has actually helped me read more than I thought, socialise somewhat, and look up new therapies to get my health back on track.
Meanwhile, I keep the awareness of being overly ambitious with me and try to lower my ambitions, and rest more. Hopefully this will help me find the balance between activity and rest…